


Love

by Anonymous



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 08:28:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4699154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/





	Love

Bastian does not know how it happened.

He barely remembers that his team had won, they were celebrating, there were loads of drinks and music and dancing around him, his teammates yelling happily, bottles of beer were being passed around, and they were all high with the victory.

He had some drinks, but not that much to make him drunk, just enough for him to be tipsy. He was dancing too, swaying around the bar, among the sea of people, when someone grabbed his hips, and a warm body pressed against his back. He was startled at first, nearly jumped, but right then he realized who that was.

He remembers Philipp grabbing his hand, leading him out of the place, walking him back to his hotel room. Right when the door was closed, the captain pressed him against the door, attacking his neck with kisses. Bastian moaned helplessly, his hand moved to stroke Philipp’s hair, ruffling it. He put the other hand on the back of Philipp’s neck, pulling him closer, trying to find his lips. But to his surprise, Philipp pushed him harder against the door, pinned his wrists above his head, sucking on his pulse point again, making him groan.

-“God, Philipp-“

-“Don’t.”

Philipp cut him off rather rudely when he grabbed Bastian’s hair, pulling his head, baring the skin of his neck. The defender took no time licking and sucking on the skin again, biting marks on his neck, and Bastian just whined in both pleasure and pain. A moan escaped his throat when a hand slid into his pants, touching him, making him hard and crazy with lust. Seconds later, he felt both his pants and his brief was being pulled off, freeing him completely, and the strokes just got even faster. Philipp continued marking him and jerking him off at the same time, and Bastian could not help moaning loudly that he would feel ashamed after this. He struggled to free his hand from the captain’s grasp, wanting to touch him so badly, but the grip on his wrists was firm and Philipp pulled away to look directly into his eyes. Those eyes were so beautiful, hypnotizing, and the lust in those blue pools was enough for Bastian to come to the edge. He bit his lips hard to prevent himself from screaming as he came hard into Philipp’s hand, shivering, he even had to lean against the door frame, breathing harshly.

For minutes, they just stood still, looked at each other. Bastian wanted to ask his captain why, but as he opened his mouth to speak, Philipp stood up, disappeared into the bathroom. When he got out, he just looked at Bastian one more time and walked past him without a word.

Bastian decided to take a quick shower and go to bed, but he found himself moaning and tossing around in his sleep.

\--

They said nothing to each other in the morning. Philipp joined Thomas and Manu as usual, when Bastian sat down next to Lukas and Miro. Seemed Lukas was very happy, he could not stop talking and making jokes, eliciting laughs and chuckles from everyone around the table, even someone as serious as Miro was smiling along. Bastian just laughed slightly, taking a bite from his bread when his eyes met Philipp’s. For one moment, he froze – Philipp was smiling too, but his eyes were anything but happy, and the look he was giving Bastian was unreadable. All of Bastian’s appetite was lost as he tried to swallow down the rest of his meal without choking. He made a lame excuse to exit the table and walked outside, needing some fresh air. He really needed that.

Much to his surprise, the older man jogged to his direction, and he found himself falling. Philipp just looked at him once more and left him alone.

\--

The second time it happened was after another win by his club. This time, Philipp pushed him against the cold wall of the locker room, kissing his way down from his neck to his abs, mouth teasing his nipples, Bastian could not resist. The captain kept on moving, teasing his muscles with kisses and licks, and when his warm, wet mouth closed around his erection, Bastian swore he could see stars. He pulled softly at Philipp’s hair, playing with it while another wave of pleasure shot through him. He did not know why, but he just decided not to think about it too much, because he had to admit that he loved this, loved having Philipp all over him. Because he loved the defender so much that it hurt, that maybe having him for just a while was better than not having him at all.

When he came, the captain’s name escaped his mouth, and Philipp clasped a hand on his mouth, blocking his noises. He almost choked.

-“Don’t.”

\--

It soon became a “habit” between them. Philipp would come to Bastian’s room, having the blonde moaning and writhing under him, then left without a word. Sometimes they have their thing in the locker room, or anywhere that Bastian could die from the thought of being caught by anybody, and his orgasm seemed to be much more worthy. They never kissed or talked about it after, and the midfielder thought it was okay when it really was not. He should not have fallen for Philipp that much, should not have allowed Philipp to use him for solving sexual frustration. But he had fallen, and he knew there was no turning back.

\--

They lost the game. They lost the trophy. Tears in their eyes, heartaches and a lot more in their feelings. Philipp, as usual, had to stay strong. He gave a speech in front of everybody, thanking them for trying their best, and promised to get their revenge next time. His words somehow got this big influence on everyone and they left one by one.

The door closed behind their back and Philipp pushed Bastian into his bed, pinning him down with his hips. Their touches were fervent, urgent, and Bastian just let Philipp do whatever he wanted. When Philipp took him from behind, tears were forming in his eyes, his pain was the combination of the loss and the fact that Philipp would leave him after they were done. But he shook his thoughts away, trying to focus on the sensation, on Philipp’s hand around his throbbing member, on Philipp’s lips against his spine. He knew Philipp need someone to relieve his pain and anger, and Bastian just wanted Philipp to be happy.

He felt so pathetic.

\--

-“You should stop hurting yourself.”

He almost jumped at the voice behind him. It was Miro, who was looking at him with that serious expression on his face.

-“Excuse me?”

He asked back, his heart beating painfully in his chest. Please, please not about this, please, he silently prayed.

But Miro’s voice pulled him back to the reality, confirmed his fears:

-“You should stop whatever is going on between you and Lahm.”

Bastian wanted to protest, but he knew it was no use when the person in front of him was Miroslav Klose. He bit his lips nervously, waiting for the striker to continue.

-“I know something is not right with you and Lahm, and you are hurting yourself without even knowing it, Schweini,” Miro kept on speaking, hand reached out to put on Bastian’s shoulder. “I know how long have you been in love with Lahm. This is doing you no good, my brother. I’m not telling you to stop seeing him, but you should really stop hurting yourself. Lukas is worried about you too. Think about it, okay?”

Bastian just nodded.

-“Yeah.”

\--

Maybe he should really stop.

\--

Philipp’s hands were all over him when he pushed him away, keeping a distance from the older man. The defender looked surprised at his action, he just stood still, and of all times, Philipp opened his mouth to speak to him, properly.

-“What’s wrong?”

Bastian leaned against the wall, head tipped back. He suddenly felt so tired. The pain arose from hearing that simple question.

Getting no answer, Philipp walked closer to Bastian, studied his expressions. He asked again.

-“What’s wrong, Bastian?”

He could not take it anymore.

-“What’s wrong, Philipp? Everything has been wrong since the beginning – this thing between us!”

-“Woah. woah, what’s gotten in you? I think we both enjoy it-“

-“I admit that I do enjoy it, Lahm, but not anymore. I’m sorry, but I think I can’t do this anymore. I’m quitting.”

Philipp’s expression was a mixture of shock and something that Bastian could not read. He just wanted it to stop.

-“Why? Did I do something wrong?”

-“It’s not your fault, it’s mine for letting this happen at the first place. I’m sorry Philipp.”

-“I don’t understand.”

The bubbles got to pop in the end.

-“Of course you don’t understand, because I don’t want this, I don’t want you to just come to me when you need relief, I don’t want you to say “Don’t” whenever I say your name, I don’t want you to leave after we are done, because I love you Philipp, and it hurts like a bitch when you just ignore me in the morning. No Philipp, this is enough. I’m sorry.” He put on his coat and got out, but Philipp grabbed his wrist, stopped him.

-“Basti, I-“

He shook his head and swatted Philipp’s hand away, tears forming in his eyes. This was the end. He was waking up from the dream.

\--

The next weeks were pure toture. He tried his best to ignore Philipp off the pitch, and he did so well. But he could not do that when they were in training. Philipp still acted normal in front of his teammates, and Bastian guessed that was it. He felt numb then, but it was better. Maybe he did miss Philipp.

\--

He did not remember how they ended up being in the same room again. Maybe there were too many things he did not know.

He lied down on his bed, closing his eyes, waiting for Philipp to leave. He sucked in a breath when he heard the bed next to his cracking, and there were footsteps. Except that the sound showed that the person was not going to the door but going to his direction. He did not want to see, but a warm hand was on his, and Philipp’s breath was right next to his ear.

-“I want to explain, Basti.”

He sat up, looking at Philipp. He had loved him for that long, and he had forgiven him for the pain long ago, but Philipp was right next to him, holding his hand, and Bastian was hoping so much. Please say it, please.

-“I feel the same.”

There were a lot of questions on Bastian’s mind at that moment. He wanted to shout, to scream them to Philipp’s face, about why Philipp was ignoring him then. But he did not get the chance because Philipp was speaking again.

-“But first, I think you should know this before we come to any decision.”

With that, Philipp unbutton his shirts, throwing it on the bed, turning his back to Bastian. Bastian did not understand what was going on, but then slowly, he noticed it.

Philipp’s pale back was full of scars. Thick, white lines running without directions. He suddenly remembered that Philipp had never let anyone in the locker room see him naked as he was always the last person to shower and leave, that even when it was sunny and hot, Philipp never took his shirt off, that when Philipp was with him, he always took him from behind, not letting him see his body.

-“Philipp…” Bastian’s voice was shaking with anger and shock. He stood up and walked to Philipp’s, hands reached out to put on his shoulders. What could be more painful to be in love?

Philipp looked broken, and Bastian did not know what he should do. He just patiently waited for the man to answer. A tear slid down Philipp’s face, and Bastian used his thumb to wipe it away. Those teary blue eyes could haunt him for the rest of his life.

-“I am broken, Basti. I don’t want to hurt myself anymore. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want us to be together so that you can leave me. I don’t want those memories on my back to happen again. Those scars will never fade, so do the bad memories. I’m sorry.”

Bastian shook his head as he stepped closer to Philipp. He looked at the defender, looking for any sign of discomfort when he pulled Philipp in for a hug. He let Philipp bury his head in his chest, stroking Philipp’s hair, trying to calm him down because Philipp was shaking in his arms. The defender slowly looked up at him, and Bastian stared back into those blue eyes, when he lowered his face down to Philipp’s.

-“Anything happened in the past is not going to change my love for you.”

For the first time, their lips met. It was more of a soft touch of lips at first rather than a real kiss, but that was all Bastian need. He sent a thousand words he wanted to say so badly into the kiss, and Philipp just relaxed in his arms, kissing him back. They were both crying, the tears slid down the faces, into their kiss.

They lied down onto bed after, Bastian’s arm securely wrapped around Philipp’s waist. The shorter man was hugging Bastian too, his head was on the midfielder’s chest. They just listened to each other’s breathing, and Bastian just kept stroking Philipp’s hips. The things they did last night did not have anything to do with sex, and for the first time since their moment in that hotel room, Bastian did not feel the pain anymore.

\--

Kissing Philipp is the best thing in the world for Bastian at the moment. He is so in love, and so happy that his feelings have been returned.

They have spent the last few months being together, holding hands when they are walking on the street, coming to each other’s place, going to the park, watching life going by; giving each other warm looks in training.

They are watching a movie at Bastian’s, with both of them lying on the couch, sharing the last popcorn (they will get in trouble if their coach knows about this). Philipp lies his head on Bastian’s chest, running his hand on his boyfriend’s stomach and hugging him tightly. Bastian just smiles at him, kisses the top of his head. Philipp reached out to touch Bastian’s lips, pulling him down that their lips meet. It soon becomes passionate and hungry and the film has been long forgotten.

-“Philipp?’’ Bastian breathes out between their kisses

-“Hmm?”

-“Let me love you.”

Philipp just looks deep into his eyes, and for one moment the blonde thinks that he will be denied. But the older man just nods, whispering. “Please, Schweini.”

The taller man carries Philipp bridal style into his bedroom, not breaking their kisses and Philipp is running out of breath. They pull away a little just for Bastian to suck on Philipp’s neck lightly, and the shorter man sucks in a breath, hands gripping tight on Bastian’s shoulders. It hurts a little, and Bastian knows that Philipp is scared, so scared, but he trusts him, so Bastian moves to kiss Philipp again.

He lies Philipp down to the bed, delicately, gently stroking his hair. The captain’s blue eyes stare up at him, full of trust. Bastian slowly undresses him, trying to freeze the moment, trying his best not to scare his love as he puts Philipp’s shirt to the side. He plants a kiss on Philipp’s chest, kissing his way down to his nipples, mouth closing around the tiny rose bud. To his relief, Philipp arches his back, panting heavily, a hand pulling lightly at Bastian’s soft strands, giving him the permission. Bastian smiles against Philipp’s skin and slides up to kiss his love again. He can feeling Philipp tugging at his shirt and nods, loses the fabric separating them. The skin on skin contact makes both of them gasp, and their touches become more fervent.

Bastian can spend all night kissing Philipp, but that’s not his plan tonight. He breaks the kiss and put his lips on Philipp’s forehead, sensing a small smile before going back to what he has been doing. He watches Philipp closely when he unbuttons his trousers, looking for any kind of discomfort. He carefully pulls Philipp’s pants down, watching his face again. Philipp’s eyes are closed, lips slightly part, panting softly. The midfielder decides to go on with the briefs, and soon they are all naked in front of each other. Bastian strokes Philipp’s skin, calming him down, and the grip on his arm has loosened.

He takes all his time in the world to prepare Philipp, kissing him here and there while doing so, watching the older man’s reactions when he puts one, two, then three fingers inside him. Philipp is moaning right now, his hands grabbing on his lover’s shoulders to keep himself from shaking. He closes his eyes, savoring the pleasure and love Bastian is giving him.

Bastian slowly sinks inside Philipp, waiting for him patiently to adjust. Philipp opens his eyes to see Bastian’s face, stroking his arm when he pushes inside. His last covers are falling down, letting Bastian in. It feels great to see his boyfriend so protective for him, caring about him, not letting him feel any pain or discomfort. They are rocking together, skin against skin, lips on lips, gasps and moans falling out of their lips. Philipp hugs him tightly, learning to trust again, and maybe Bastian can give him the sense of trust that he has lost. And when Bastian closes his hand around his erection, a moan rips his throat as he comes hard between them, Bastian following him seconds later. For a while they just stays there, kissing each other, playing with each other’s hair. For the very first time after all those years, Philipp feels loved again.

After that, they lie next to each other on bed, Bastian stroking Philipp’s stomach lovingly, and Philipp just closes his eyes, a smile spreads on his face.

-“I love you, Basti.”

\--

-“So you two are good now?”

-“Yeah.”

-“We are happy. When’s the wedding?”

-“God’s sake Lukas, not before you and Miro!”

-“You are slow, we are getting engaged next month. El-oh-el.”

-“I know. But we are both slow, Thomas and Manu have been married for a year now.”

-“Our cutie puppies.”

-“Right.”

-“Darling, Lukas, lunch’s ready!”

-“We are coming!”

-“It’s great to be in love.”

-“Definitely.”


End file.
